i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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