my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
