I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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