We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
