I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
