My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
