just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can you bring me the toilet please
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
