Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
