Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
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