About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
