my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
