found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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