Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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