Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
