we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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