yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
