You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
