there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
