Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
