Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
