we have officially lost it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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