i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
