hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
