he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
