I'm eating all of the evidence.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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