i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize