you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
