My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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