I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize