just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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