I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
