Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
