What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My feet surprised me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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