The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
