sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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