apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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