I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
