It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
