i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
