maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
