At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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