Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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