hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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