So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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