I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
