It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
