dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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