How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
