We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
