He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
