I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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