I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
