thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I came so hard my ears popped.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize