A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
