She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize