Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
