"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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