I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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