you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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