OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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