I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
