I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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